In life you come across many situations which can’t be classified as right or wrong, good or bad, however their impact is massive. More often than not we just consider our pain/delight and forget the view on the other side. It takes some time for the moment to pass by before you can have a fair view, or dare I say be considerate about the counter view.
One of the most blissful moments of one’s life is when one is in love. Now people have got different definitions for love, so let’s not get into what is love. It’s often said that when you are in Love you don’t expect you just commit yourself, but is it true?
Let’s get a bit more realistic and dive with open mind. When you fall in love, you don’t really start with long term plans, most of the times it starts with you like spending time together, you share common interests or may be it’s a sheer admiration of certain qualities (Beauty, Intelligence, voice etc). However the thought process is different when you are formalizing the relationship, When the big question comes Is he/she the right guy/girl to get married..? Hanging around with someone and spending the whole life (well most of the life) together are two different ball games. I have seen many love stories going for a toss at this stage. We blame people for making certain decisions which were not what we expected. Probably this is the time when true love is tested. Do you still think you didn’t expect anything..???? . Let’s discuss the first thing first. Let’s consider a Good looking well educated girl, who is in love with someone of her same age group, may be from her college for the sake of discussion. All goes well till they are in college, but as soon as the big question comes both are in predicament. More often than not the girl will get matches of boys who are well settled in life, earn at least 3 times more than his love interest, and most importantly are selected by her parents. If you compare the profiles the way we do for arrange marriages the poor college pass out guy will be left far behind. He might me very talented and he might achieve all this in coming years but what can he do if he was born say 3-5 years late!!!!.
What is right what is wrong..? What will you do..? What do you think the girl who choose to opt for a more safer and acceptable(to her family) option was right or the one who choose to kind of agitate her family and followed her heart was right???
There can be arguments and counter arguments but what I feel is it varies from person to person. There is no universal formulae and there is no sacred path.. Do what you think is best…
Let’s now move on and put the same question in front of the lover boy.
He has just started his career, and with the kind of earnings he has he can’t think of marriage, may be he has got some family responsibilities as well. He has got ambitions of higher studies, or may be he is not ready to take the plunge. He has to If he is lucky he will have to choose between the girl and next two years in top MBA college, for not so luck ones he will have to choose between three, family/parents being the third one J.
Do you call it illegitimate if the guy prefers to go for MBA, and by the time he comes out the girl is already married..!!!!
Whose loss is this..?
Few days back I was reading this quote,
“Love marriage: When you marry your girlfriend,
Arrange marriage: When you marry someone else’s girl friend”
Looking forward for your comments.
KP.
4 comments:
Well considering your 1st example what is the matter of fact?? Should the moments that a girl & boy spend be cherished and not crib about what the resultant is, dats it and forget? These all thoughts take a while to sink in. And it is very much evident in the human nature that people start questioning their luck. The Race will stop loving because of all these insecurities.
Also the way our society is designed,they talk so much about love, love thy neighbor, love this, love that... the society never wants you to love.. coz they know pure love can destroy .. it will take you to your limits.. which again disrupts the design/format of the human race...
I think hatred is more pure in today's world... love is hard to find.
Happy Good to see your response. However I disagree with what you have written..Love is the purest feeling, one thing you need to understand is the thing which contaminates love is expectation. Why you need to bother about society to love someone. Love sets your soul free, free from all the prejudice. I know it hurts if your feelings are not reciprocated but then don't you think people get only one shot at life and everyone has got the right to live it the best possible way. You can't make everyone happy and at times you need to take it in stride that it's you who is not going to be happy.
"Don't cry because its over, Smile because it happened ".
Cheers
KP
Nice to hear from you guys .In your example it is the fear and insecurity that love will be a obstacle in one's path to some benchmarks of achievement (say MBA , fat salary .. ) which is driving the decisions.. say if girl and boy stand together and provide each other support to achieve the goals then end of story will be a different one!!!
"But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. "
Kahlil Gibran
Well i agree with you guys in totality, however here i am trying to talk about the other side of love and how the society has casted it's role in our lives..
I know Prashant there are exceptions where i bet very small number of people even today love with their whole heart, however majority seems to me more virtual, intelligent in taking their decisions.. i don't know if you agree with this.. Brain and Heart don't go hand in hand..
If i try to show you the picture of pure love that i see .. is the classical example of Heer - Ranjha.. lucky one's they both had element of purity.. and 2 way..
What comes in your mind.. when you think of Pure Love.. ?? It can be god for someone..
Not sure what i have written makes sense..
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