Father Forgets

First time I read these lines I cried, I have read these lines 100 times, but every time i read them i get emotional..A masterpiece by W. Livingston Larned

Listen, son:
I am saying this as you lie asleep,
one little paw crumpled under your cheek and
the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead.
I have stolen into your room alone.
Just a few minutes ago,
as I sat reading my paper in the library,
a stifling wave of remorse swept over me.
Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking,
son: I had been cross to you.
I scolded you as you were dressing for school
because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel.
I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes.
I called out angrily
when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too.
You spilled things.
You gulped down your food.
You put your elbows on the table.
You spread butter too thick on your bread.
And as you started off to play
and I made for my train,
you turned and waved a hand
and called, 'Goodbye, Daddy!'
and I frowned, and said in reply,
'Hold your shoulders back!'

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon.
As I came up the road I spied you,
down on your knees, playing marbles.
There were holes in your stockings.
I humiliated you before your boyfriends
by marching you ahead of me to the house.
Stockings were expensive -
and if you had to buy them you would be more careful!
Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember,
later, when I was reading in the library,
how you came in timidly,
with a sort of hurt look in your eyes?
When I glanced up over my paper,
impatient at the interruption,
you hesitated at the door.
'What is it you want?' I snapped.
You said nothing,
but ran across in one tempestuous plunge,
and threw your arms around my neck
and kissed me,
and your small arms tightened
with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart
and which even neglect could not wither.
And then you were gone,
pattering up the stairs.

Well, son,
it was shortly afterwards
that my paper slipped from my hands
and a terrible sickening fear came over me.
What has habit been doing to me?
The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding
- this was my reward to you for being a boy.
It was not that I did not love you;
it was that I expected too much of youth.
I was measuring you
by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine
and true in your character.
The little heart of you
was as big as the dawn itself
over the wide hills.
This was shown by your spontaneous impulse
to rush in and kiss me good night.
Nothing else matters tonight, son.
I have come to your bedside in the darkness,
and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement;
I know you would not understand these things
if I told them to you during your waking hours.
But tomorrow
I will be a real daddy!
I will chum with you,
and suffer when you suffer,
and laugh when you laugh.
I will bite my tongue
when impatient words come.
I will keep saying as if it were a ritual:
'He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!'

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man.
Yet as I see you now, son,
crumpled and weary in your cot,
I see that you are still a baby.
Yesterday you were in your mother's arms,
your head on her shoulder.
I have asked too much, too much, yet given too little of myself. Promise me, as I teach you to have the manners of a man, that you will remind me how to have the loving spirit of a child.

Cheers
KP

Right or Wrong....

In life you come across many situations which can’t be classified as right or wrong, good or bad, however their impact is massive. More often than not we just consider our pain/delight and forget the view on the other side. It takes some time for the moment to pass by before you can have a fair view, or dare I say be considerate about the counter view.

One of the most blissful moments of one’s life is when one is in love. Now people have got different definitions for love, so let’s not get into what is love. It’s often said that when you are in Love you don’t expect you just commit yourself, but is it true?

Let’s get a bit more realistic and dive with open mind. When you fall in love, you don’t really start with long term plans, most of the times it starts with you like spending time together, you share common interests or may be it’s a sheer admiration of certain qualities (Beauty, Intelligence, voice etc). However the thought process is different when you are formalizing the relationship, When the big question comes Is he/she the right guy/girl to get married..? Hanging around with someone and spending the whole life (well most of the life) together are two different ball games. I have seen many love stories going for a toss at this stage. We blame people for making certain decisions which were not what we expected. Probably this is the time when true love is tested. Do you still think you didn’t expect anything..???? . Let’s discuss the first thing first. Let’s consider a Good looking well educated girl, who is in love with someone of her same age group, may be from her college for the sake of discussion. All goes well till they are in college, but as soon as the big question comes both are in predicament. More often than not the girl will get matches of boys who are well settled in life, earn at least 3 times more than his love interest, and most importantly are selected by her parents. If you compare the profiles the way we do for arrange marriages the poor college pass out guy will be left far behind. He might me very talented and he might achieve all this in coming years but what can he do if he was born say 3-5 years late!!!!.

What is right what is wrong..? What will you do..? What do you think the girl who choose to opt for a more safer and acceptable(to her family) option was right or the one who choose to kind of agitate her family and followed her heart was right???

There can be arguments and counter arguments but what I feel is it varies from person to person. There is no universal formulae and there is no sacred path.. Do what you think is best…

Let’s now move on and put the same question in front of the lover boy.

He has just started his career, and with the kind of earnings he has he can’t think of marriage, may be he has got some family responsibilities as well. He has got ambitions of higher studies, or may be he is not ready to take the plunge. He has to If he is lucky he will have to choose between the girl and next two years in top MBA college, for not so luck ones he will have to choose between three, family/parents being the third one J.

Do you call it illegitimate if the guy prefers to go for MBA, and by the time he comes out the girl is already married..!!!!

Whose loss is this..?

Few days back I was reading this quote,

“Love marriage: When you marry your girlfriend,

Arrange marriage: When you marry someone else’s girl friend”

Looking forward for your comments.

KP.